As life carries on, as time passes, and years go by, dogs that have touched my life pass on. Students, dogs I have rescued, dogs of friends, my very own. It always hurts and it cuts my soul with a reminder of how little time we really have with our dogs. In the last few weeks I have had one email or phone call after another. Many more than I would expect in just a few weeks. It stung, it reminded me, it warned me, and my heart went out to them. It is simply too short of a time.
I had written a draft of a post to say goodbye to them. I wanted to refine it, read it once more and then post it. I never thought I would be adding to the list before I ever finished it, and that I would be adding the name of one of my own.
The tears began yesterday morning as we found our sweet little Tippy had passed in her sleep. There were no symptoms of illness, no problems, and at the end of the night she was as she always was, and we awoke to her having passed in her sleep. A reminder they are with us and then not sometimes quicker than we could ever know, or expect. The tears still flow as I put out her bowl without thinking to feed her, as I expect to see her, as I remember and visit my memories.
She came into our family as a young puppy having endured one of the most traumatic abuses at the hands of young children that I could ever imagine happening. Her family bought her to entertain their children who had behavior problems that a puppy could not fix. They were looking for anything, something to entertain them. They called because she had started hiding under beds, anywhere she could find and would growl and nip at the family. Once I saw the family in action, including Mom and Dad who punished her for fearing their children, I knew she had to get out of there.
I brought her home in hopes of rehabilitating her and placing her in a home. Over time she learned to accept a few people in her life, but she never left. I just couldn't take the chance after asking her to trust me that I could put her in a home that might decide to test that trust. If they did, I might never get it back again. It had been so bad for her.
She was very protective of her family, choosing to identify with the more impressive of our pack, mainly the male Dobermans. Her very best friend through life was our Jordan who passed away a few years ago. When Caddie was with us, Tippy liked to stand beside of her and bark out at the world from the comfort of being next to her "big sis" while on our deck. Whenever Emee and Annabelle came to our home from the Day Care to play, the three of them had the best time. Annabelle and Emee would lie in wait as Tippy made bold runs and zoomies through and past them and back out into the yard. Tippy loved playing with everyone at the Day Care and always chose the bigger of the dogs to befriend. We will miss joking that if someone made it passed the Dobermans in our home that they would be shocked to find the spirit of a big dog in the tiny fluffy white dog.
She was a good sport too as I sometimes would groom her to look like a Chinese Crested with a shaved body, leaving her with furry leg warmers and a fluffy tail. The tail drove her nuts for a few days as she got used to it touching her back, then she ran around with a bounce in her step. She would be very proud of her new style. For a dog that had started out life knowing only bad at the hands of humans, she was very good on a grooming table. No matter what wierd tool I would approach her with, noisy clippers, a dremel tool, scissors, brush, stripping knife, comb, or blow dryer she acted like all was fine. I just couldn't imagine that trust being shattered. I couldn't let her leave the cover of my wings. That little bird was staying. I just never imagined she would fly away so soon.
I know she ran when she saw Jordan, they did play bows and bounced and zoomied all over the place, and as I cried and missed her she stood beside of Caddie and looked out and felt safe. Tippy you left us too soon. (They always do.)
Here is our little Tippy.
The post I intended has changed, the intent has not. I would like to extend my deepest sympathy to the families that have lost their own dogs in the last few weeks.
Izzy, a fun and happy red female rescued Doberman,that belonged to a friend in Nashville passed after a long illness. She developed DCM (dilated cardiomyopathy) and now the number of dogs this disease has taken is again one way too many. I saw her fill a hole left in her owners heart by the loss of another dog. Yet this time, even though Izzy is gone, I know she has left Sue's heart full.
To the Davis family that lost their beloved "Chili". A red female Doberman that like Tippy didn't start out knowing love but left this world having known nothing but that from her new family. She was taken in to their family as a rescue, and never learned to trust the world like she did her family. They were her safety, her life. She saw new dogs come, a bunny, a bird and three human babies enter that family. We don't know how old she was when she was rescued but I believe her to have been over the age of 15 when she passed. At that age families often question on days that are bad if it is time to let go, and then there will be good days and the question leaves. While the question was entering conversations every once in awhile, Chili passed in her sleep, in her home. Her Mom fittingly stated "I think some times at night I hear her bark". I knew her time was near, yet once I heard she had passed away I cried. Even though I haven't seen her in a long time, it still made me cry. She was just that kind of dog.
A very good friend of mine and her children lost their dog "Niner". His family is one of huge sports fans. He fittingly lived his life named after one of their favorite teams. He also lived his life as the children grew up. Their memories of childhood could be counted on every hair of his body. Time was recalled according to how old Niner was at the time. In many ways when Niner passed away it was the last physical reminder to them that they had ever been young, been small children. Life had changed, but Niner hadn't. He was proof that life had been innocent, carefree, simple.
Dogs do that for us. They also give us something we want again, to know and feel again, despite the pain and loss when they are gone. LaRae and Joe still have a few more years of growing to do, and someday they will have families of their own. I have no doubt that there will be dogs in those families. I know that because I know how much they loved Niner.
To make an impact, to be remembered fondly, to have been loved, to love others without condition, to enjoy each day, find joy in simple things, change a life, bring empathy and kindness to other's hearts... we all should live lke that. Niner did, Chili did, Izzy did, and so did Tippy.
They are still loving our families, the memories give us that, we feel it still, though they are gone. Our pets never really leave us. They just turn in their collars and leads for wings and halos.
Till later... woofs!
